Mr. T-Bone Beasley

I Love Grass!

2009-04-30T10:41:00.000-07:00

Fellow four legged ones! I am here! Well, you know...I'm back.

I am all moved in! Yea! It was a bit of a rough week when we moved. I mean, my human was taking things apart (with these tool things that I was sure she didn't know how to use) and then putting them in my Bease mobile. Then!!!! The stoopid human had the audacity to leave me in the house by myself with most of my belongings gone! She took like 5 trips over to the new place and just left me behind!

Finally, she came back to the house - we ate, and then she loaded me up in the very crowded Bease mobile (she's lucky she rolled the window down for me or I would have for sure farted and killed everything around me) and took me to the new place. I'll have you know that I hated it! Lots of our stuff was thrown everywhere, but nothing of MINE was in the house! The nimrod of a human did not bring my very precious toys and chewies to entertain me!

While she unpacked boxes and put things back together I sniffed things out. I thought about peeing on the walls just to mark it as mine - but alas I remembered that I ought to use manners when entering a new place. So, I peed outside on the patio instead. I mean, I HAD to! Anything can get into a backyard, so I needed everything to know that the backyard was definitely mine! I mean, pretty much anything I touch is mine, but the backyard for sure does not belong to anyone else!

Since the human forgot my toys I found a rubber ball in the backyard that I got to kill!

The best part of this backyard is that I have grass! Yea! Like for real - dead grass, you know the straw-like grass that is great to roll in and bring inside!

Anyway, I was packed back into the Jeep (Bease mobile) and taken to the remainings of my home that I have known for over a year. While we were there I found this pottery thing that was like evil and stuff. Since I never really got to sniff that sucker out, I had to give it a nice and fuuurrrrocious echo-ey bark to show it who is boss. I've never liked pottery or big pots. I'm pretty sure that evil exists inside, it's always made me a bit nervous...

When the room was cleaned out, only my humans - ahem MY bed remained and it was put up against the wall. And wouldn't you know it...Linus decided to play king of the mattress!

He's lucky I didn't jump that high to get him of MY property! THEN!!! The human went to pack up all of my treats and stuff, but she had to leave to go get some tape, and when she came back there was a Linus in the box! In MY box!

Anyway, getting used to my new home has been a bit of an adjustment, but I think I'm starting to like it lots! I get to guard the yard...

Ooooo and I’ve also discovered that I really enjoy destroying sprinklers! Those things are awesome!

There’s always lots to be done in the back yard, so I make sure I spend a lot of time “on-duty” there…

And of course, I'm always working and on duty - I'm just tricky, I don’t really sleep...

While the pheasant is in the midst of being repaired, I was given the GOOSE! The goose is pretty awesome, I've almost killed his squeaker, but I like to leave the migrators in suspense...never knowing when their lost honk and fart will be! Muahahahahaha!

I got all sorts of awesome things when we moved - which of course made things a bit easier on me! I got a green gator that has no stuffing, but makes 2 different kinds of squeaking - which is awesome! I also got a purple duck with a squeaker and crinkly feet...uhhh some new shredfully awesome rope, a new rope ball, and a carrot!

I love that fricken carrot! We like to play "where's the carrot" in my house! My human will send a picture of my carrot in the random places that I leave it, then she sends it to my God Human (humans roommate) and she has to guess where I left it! Oooohhhhhh yea! It's a great game. Sometimes for fun I just like to squeak the sucker over and over - just to make sure the humans really are sleeping. If I hear a grunt or some other choice words, then I know they are faking sleep and I usually enter one of their rooms to serenade them to sleep with sweet squeaker awesomeness!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all that if it's yours, then pee on it!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Moving...Again

2009-04-15T09:05:00.000-07:00

Weeeerrrrd Homies! Wicky Wicky! I have news! Not the best of news, but news none the less…okay so, ummm well, okay – uhhhh, alright I’m just going to say it okay – deep breathe – I’M MOVING!

GASP! I know right! Isn’t this one of the most depressing things you’ve ever heard?? I mean, I get depressed when the humans clean my house! To watch them put everything in a box is heart breaking.

I guess we aren’t moving too far this time, but I had to give my human the look anyway. You know the look I’m talking about…the look of pure and raw disgust. I don’t understand why the human has to be so nomadic.

I suppose the nice thing about moving is that my human has bought me some “transition toys.” YEA! I know quite understand what a transition has to do with new toys, but whatever! I’m totally in, if toys are involved.

The human already ruined the surprise of some of my toys. She came home with a pack of the migrating birds and she gave me the pheasant! This thing is awesome and a lot like the honkin’ fartin’ duck that Deetz gave me a long time ago!

I loved my pheasant a lot – a little too much! One morning his honkin’ fartin’ sounds just really got me all excited, and the next thing I knew his head had ‘sploded! Of course, this was a trastavegy and the human needed to know of the remains. I couldn’t stand to look.

So, I did what any spectacular Airedale would do, I woke my human up by sticking my glorious and huge schnozz in the her mouth! Twas one of the funniest looks I’ve ever seen from my human!

The good news is that my pheasant hasn’t died completely, only his head…so the human said she would try and sew him all up so he can live to ‘splode yet again some other day!

Woohoo!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all that if your humans ever make you do something you don’t wanna do – you make sure you get some sort of awesome new treat or toy. These humans owe us for everything we do for them anyway!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

The Gotti Has Arrived...

2009-04-14T15:26:00.000-07:00

My fellow four legged buddies! My friend Gotti has found his way to the blogging community!

http://gottithepitbull.blogspot.com/

Go sniff him and all of his awesomeness out! He's a huge fan of anything fuzzy!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

His Gotti-ness!

2009-04-12T19:32:00.000-07:00

Geetings oh furry ones! I would like to introduce you to my new buddy! Before I show you of the awesomeness that our playing brings, I would like to tell you all about him! Gotti is about a month younger than me and about 55 pounds. He was born in jail. Yes, you read it right my friends – he was sprung loose from the can about 4 months ago. He was born in jail because his mom was recued from an abusive home, and she was pregnant with sir Gotti!!!

Now, all of his siblings were adopted, but not he…he was waiting for the ultimate forever home! Thus, he was stuck in jail for over a year. Also, it was reported that he was too hyper for any other potential two leggeds. Supposedly, he is part Stratordshire Terrier (Pitt Bull) and Chow, but mostly he is just awesome! My human's friend adopted him and she is as crazy about him as my human is about me! So, of course that means that he is of Bease status!!!

Without further adieu I present to you the Gotti!

This is Mr. T-Bone signing out and reminding everyone that a good game of bitey face will cure any sadness that may ever present itself!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

SNOW!

2009-04-02T12:16:00.000-07:00

So, we all know that I live in the desert, and I’m sure you all know what’s in the desert. First and foremost, there is dirt – the dirty kind of dirt…the best dirt, the kind of dirt that sticks to my fuzz and creates that magnificent smell of what the humans call “D-O-G”. Second, there are prickly things that my human NEVER lets me smell. You know – the pokey things, the uhhh cat-cusses errr cat-ci, whatever those things, you know what I’m talking about. I can’t completely describe what the darn thing is because the human won’t let me investigate it.

Anyway, I live in the desert…where some of these things live.

Yea! I viewed that sucker myself! The human got a picture of it while we were hiking, she let me smell the thing, but little dude crept back between the rocks…

BUT!!! I totally got to witness SNOW! Yea! It was this white stuff right, and I sunk in it, then I ran in it, and ate it and I peed and pooped in it, then I realized that there was no fence on the snow mountain – I WAS FREE!

My human found me some fellow square headed friends that I could play with in large quantities. Everyone is super awesome! Me, I don’t much care about the people. I mean, they talk to me and touch me – but to be honest, they don’t know how to play bitey face and they’re a bit too slow for my taste, most importantly though, they only have two legs. Anyway, on the first of March some of the Dales were going to meet up North in search of some snow. I was super excited because I had never heard of snow – I only know about dirt…

So, here I am!!! Ta Daaaaa! I loved the snow, I only wish we got to stay longer – I would make a good snow four legged human!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley reminding everyone that dirt + water = the best day ever!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Uncle Frisco!

2009-03-31T14:54:00.001-07:00

Salutations all! I have been gone again for quite some time. It’s not exactly done on purpose, but the less time my human spends typing on the computer…well the more time she spends with me, and I can never turn down a good game of tug or a fabulous ear rub, or my favorite…a butt scratch!!!

This post comes with some sadness, so I warn you all to please cover your humans eyes so they don’t have to read what I say. The two legged ones are just so emotional, then their eyes water…and we have to pick up the pieces.

Last week on March 25th, 2009 my Uncle Frisco passed away. Instead of focusing on his cross over to the rainbow bridge I would like to take this opportunity to talk about the greatness that is a Frisco. After all, if it weren’t for his awesomeness my human would have never gotten the bigger version of him (a Welsh Terrier)…which is me!

My Uncle Frisco was retrieved from San Francisco as just a little guy, my human was in the 5th grade and was counting down the days that she would get to see him. Apparently, she wanted to name him “Buddy,” but thank dogness my human’s human had some sense and gave him the more fitting name of Frisco.

The first night they had him, they stayed in a hotel which was of course a no-dogs allowed type of place. Luckily, the human and company were able to get him in for most of the night, until my Uncle needed to make a tinkle. My human’s Mom zipped him up in her jacket and took him out to do his business. On the way back to the room, one of the hotel people walked past the human’s Mom and of course Frisco being who he is, popped his head out of the jacket to say hello. Due to his ability to ignore the rules – he was kicked out of the hotel room, and forced to reside at another hotel with my human’s Dad.

Frisco spent many days in Arizona as the greatest family addition. He flew over dinner tables and grabbed chocolate cake in a swift manner, he escaped through every open doorway looking for his next adventure, he left gifts (treats) in the briefcases of his human’s boss, and once peed on a “house guest” whom he must have known was not welcome. Most importantly, though was his amazing ability to comfort any two legged in need of some dogly loving. Theraperizing humans was a gift of Frisco’s, something I don’t think I will ever be able to hold up to, but darn it!!! I will try! When my human had her tonsils taken out Frisco snuggled her butt, basically healing her with his powers. Simply amazing he was.

After 13 ½ years Frisco brought more light and laughter into the home of my human than I thought was doggly possible.

I guess the best way to put it, is that Frisco – the best Uncle ever, was the symbol of family – plus a fuzzy goofball!

We love him very much!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Oh To Be Muddy...

2009-01-25T21:41:00.001-08:00

Guess who’s back, back again…T-Bone’s back, tell a friend. Guess who’s back, guess who’s back…

I like to rap like I’m that Eminem guy sometimes.

Anyway! So, quickly I will update you on what happened from Christmas to just recently.

First of all, Santa came to visit me. My God Human made me a stocking for Santa to put all my presents in, and naturally my stocking was bigger than the humans or the cats stockings! This is only because I’m a big guy, thus I get more toys. That’s how it works right?

So on Christmas there was stocking inspection…

I got so much crap! It’s only because I’ve been a good boy this year (mostly…). I got this cool little mole looking thing. It’s dead now.

Then, I got a dragon…he died, his face sploded.

Annnnd, I got this flying squirrel thing with like 16 squeakers. The squirrels head died, but most of the squeakers still live!

Ummmmm, and you can see all of my extraneous gifts here on my bed, at the inspection site.

The day after Christmas my human and her boyfriend had to attend a wedding. My human had difficulties with this, because that meant she had to wear a dress. Shield your eyes my four legged ones, I’m about to unveil a human yet again on my page!

While the humans were at the wedding I was attending a very fabulously muddy time at the kennel place. It was fun…Gregg, the guy who trained me has the kennel and well, you know, he loves me, so I was totally in like sin. He made sure I had all the mud I wanted so I could have the time of my life…and a mess for my human when she picked me up.

After the human retrieved me, I body slammed her with my muddy self and made all sorts of noises that I didn’t know I could make! I always surprise myself! After my super duper Bease bath my human began to unpack. I accompanied her to ensure that she wasn’t trying to leave me again.

Once things returned to normal in my house I decided I would snuggle Satan on the couch. Not too close though as Satan prefers not to be smothered…and she has cooties. My human lived up to her responsibility of keeping me happy by ensuring that I was at my utmost comfort levels…

I think that’s enough catching up for today! But be prepared my friends! Next post we shall talk about my first birthday ever! Woohoo! A Bease sized Birthday! Go Me!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all that mud may not be man’s best friend, but we are, and we are a twofer deal. If you wanna four legged human, that means you must love mud, right?

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

I Be Back!!!

2009-01-23T08:46:00.000-08:00

I have returned! I know, I know…I was gone for quite some time, and I’m sorry if I worried some of you, but after the Holiday Card Exchange, Christmas and my Birthday…my human and I decided to unexpectedly take some time off!

This means that I need to get you all updated on what’s been going on for like the past 2 months! I have some good stories for you…but all in due time!

My human has turned me into a hiking dog! It’s awesome because when we are out hiking I get to be the pack leader, and I have to pull my human up the mountain. What a lazy fool she is! Good thing she doesn’t have four legs…she can’t even properly use the two she has in a speedy manner!

Without further adieu I present to you, BEASE ON SOUTH MOUNTAIN!!!

On Tuesday my human thought that we could do the mountain twice. She did pretty good, but I was pretty pissed… I mean, I was tired, it was hot and for the love of puperonnis I was hungry!

After three hours of hiking my human deemed it time to go home. So home we went, I pulled her to the car just incase she decided to hike a little more…

When I got home I did a little bit of this…

Then I ate…

I de-stuffed…

And finally I let my human play with some ribbon…not for too long though!

‘Till we meet again my friends! I will try my hardest not to stay away for so long this time!
This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all that four legs are always better than two!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Music To My Ears!

2008-11-21T07:34:00.000-08:00

Greetings my fellow furry ones! I have decided to get the Holiday spirit on a roll! So, prepare yourselves my friends! I shall be singing to you!

This shall be sung to the tune of “Deck the Halls” Ahem…

Tuck away clippers and trimmers,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
‘Tis the season to be fluffy,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

May the floors be brown and filthy,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Clumps of dirt between my toesies,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Snacks and treats please fill my belly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Kibble itself is quite nasty,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Stuffies and Squeeks please get ready,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
“Tis the season to be holey,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

I hope that filled your ears with sweets sounds of awesomeness. I only wish you could hear it with my deep yet soothing woofs.

This is the Jolly Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out! Fa la la la la, la la la la!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Copy C-A-T!

2008-11-15T22:31:00.000-08:00

Hello! Did you all like my magic trick?

See, I made you all believe that I disappeared, but here I am!

Poof!
Alacazam!
Muahahahaha! I do a great disappearing act!

Where have I been you ask? Well I’ve been busy! I’ve been busy protecting all of my belongings from the C-A-T-S that I live with!

That’s right! Those things think they are all sneaky and stuff, but they aren’t! I caught on to their sneaky business! Mostly it’s Linus that is trying to take over my identity, but sometimes Satan gets in on the sneekiness as well.

It all started out when Linus decided that he liked the bed that my human keeps in her room. My “bedroom bed” we shall call it!

Then he decided to take over the bed that I keep in the living room. My “living room bed” of course!

Can you believe that he would take over that bed? I mean that’s the bed that I use to commence such activities such as…

Stick inspection…

Working on my Watch Dog skills with my eyes closed (it’s misleading and sneaky, I know…)

He even wanted to take over my crate, which is way too big for him...

So then, Satan tried to take over my black Kong! I was like, “Oh my CRAP Satan, my Kong is bigger than your head! You can’t have it!”

Soon thereafter, the C-A-T-S stopped trying to take over my belongings. Instead they tried to take over my IDENTITY!!! That’s right! They totally want to be me!

Look at Linus trying to copy cat my sleeping skills…

And here he is trying to lap water like I do…

He doesn’t drip water all over the floor quite as well as I do. The dripping of water from my beard is a task that I take very seriously. It’s to keep up my human’s awareness and tests her reflexes. It’s because I love her that I do these things…

Anyway, there wasn’t anything else I could do other than to take over some of their crap! I ate and demolished a couple of their favorite catnip toys. But they don’t know that yet, they just think they are missing…they were small anyway. I’m sure they will find some of the remains in my poop tomorrow…

Then, I took over their play tube!

Once I invaded their territory, the theftage of my identity came to a screetching halt…and I was like, “Booyah C-A-T-S! That will teach you to take over the identity of someone whose nose is bigger than yours! Woot! Woot!”

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all to watch every move you make, and every step you take ‘cause more than likely, there will be a C-A-T watching you and trying to take over your identity!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

The Beasley Ottobiography!

2008-10-24T07:55:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the Beasley Ottobiography!!!

I don’t even know where to begin! Okay, let me take you back to May of 2007. My human had just graduated from college and decided that it was time that she get herself a dog. She didn’t need to research breeds much being that she already knew an Airedale was the dog for her. See, she spent most of her college career just thinking about me and the awesomeness that I would be!

So anyway, after graduating she started to look up breeders and rescues for Airedales. She quickly became discouraged, she ran into many people who were rude or never even returned her phone calls! Rumor has it that she was willing to fly across the country just to retrieve her own Airedale!

Finally, she ran across the webpage, http://www.tenkillerairedales.com/. Thinking that there was some older information on the webpage and no news of a new litter, my human thought it was going to be more of the same. But, she made the call anyway! Thank goodness she did, because she met the nicest and most patient woman who would help my human through the process of ME!!! She informed my human that her girl Greta would be going into heat around August, and she would be bred with a fellow named Porkchop, thus I would be born around the beginning of October. The human realized that while there was a wait, it sounded as if this was going to be a great place to get a puppy from!

Initially, I was to be named Beasley, but after taking a closer look at my dad’s name she realized that I too should be named after meat! Woohoo for meat! She felt that “T-Bone” was appropriate, but she still really liked the name “Beasley.” So what else does my human do than be lazy by combining both names and adding a Mr. as the suffix! So, around the beginning of June, before I was even conceived, I was dubbed “Mr. T-Bone Beasley.”

The human was sooooo excited, so I hear anyway! She was counting down the days that my Mommy Greta would go into heat. Once August came and went, the human realized that this heat my mommy was suppose to go into just wasn’t happening. She called the first human that I ever knew (Sherry [breeder]) like every day. See, my human was annoying before I even came into this world!

While the human was anxious and frustrated she understood why Mommy Greta was waiting to go into heat. See, she’s an Airedale, she’s stubborn…it was only natural that she would be testing my humans patience. She had to check and make sure that my human could handle having one of her babies!

Anyway, I was finally conceived in October and from what I hear my human nearly cried because she was that excited! What a baby…

My birthday was suppose to be Christmas. So my human started getting ready for my arrival. Every week she would make trips to the pet store and get me things that she thought a Mr. T-Bone Beasley would enjoy. I can’t even begin to tell you about all of the collars she had…she even got me a t-shirt that I never wore! It had Mr. T on it with a chalk board that said, “Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

Anyway, testing my humans patience again, I was late for arrival. My human’s human kept telling her that she thought I would be born on her birthday, which is January 2nd. My human kept telling her human, “no, that’s too late…”

January 3rd my human got the best news since she heard I was conceived. However, there was the good news and unfortunately some bad news. The good news was that I was born, not on January 3rd, but on my humans birthday…January 2nd! My human heard the words from Sherry, “You have your Mr. T-Bone Beasley!” The human was at the grocery store when she heard those words and she nearly dropped some food and tried her best not to scream out of excitement.

After calming down, she asked what the bad news was. And unfortunately Sherry had to share that out of the 11 puppies that were to be born, only 3 of us hefty guys made it. I guess there was some sort of infection and only me, sister Lola and brother Waldo made it.

My human was so thankful that she had me, and to be born on her birthday of all days! Woohoo for me! Anyway, Sherry was the first to introduce me to the flashing box that I am constantly seeing…even in my sleep!

Without further adue, I present to you…ME!!!! (I'm in the blue collar, then in the striped collar)

My human got EVERYTHING ready for me…like everything. She had a crate, water/food dishes, blankets, toys galore and an explosion of collars…

February 19th, 2008 was my humans first day to see me in person…it was a day that I would never forget…

Sherry put me in a crate and loaded me in the car along with Blu the all black Airedale. First of all, I was not prepared for the long car ride to meet my human in Tucson. Second, I REALLY had to poo! While Sherry drove me to my first destination I screamed and I cried because she needed to pull over so I could do my business! I’ve never been one to make a mess in my crate…poo is gross and there is no way I want to be covered in it!!! Sherry ignored my cries and told me that she was on the freeway and she couldn’t pull over, and she begged me to hold on for just a little bit!!

Hold on, I did not…poo I did. I tried my darndest to get that poo outside of my crate! I pushed my butt up against the plastic walls and poo-ed everywhere. Then, I gave Sherry one of my best, most indignant faces…I was mad…

Anways, after that Sherry cleaned me up and I got to meet my human for the first time. She stuck her head in the car, opened my crate…and oh man I was scared! Wouldn’t you be? Two huge hands coming at you with a creepy smiled human trying to grab you?

After she held me for a minute I realized that she was alright. I snuggled her neck and sniffed her real good! After talking to Sherry about feeding and me in general, I was off in the car again…

Here I am on the way to my new home…

Basically, I’m just super adorable and I’m glad that my human waited for me. I enjoy the life of a Mr. T-Bone Beasley!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Squeaker Therapy...

2008-10-12T23:41:00.000-07:00

Greetings!

I have returned! Sorry to be absent for so long! For the next few days I will demand that the human assists in the catching up that I must do.

While I was away my human did something just disgusting. I begged that this photo not be posted, but I allowed it to hit the media to serve as a warning to you all. So, quickly, let me post the warning and I will show you the horror that I was put through…

*WARNING: Nosing at ribbons on presents may result in humans chasing you around the house, trying to take pictures of you with the ribbons on your head. Also, comparisons will be made to a woman with a fruit basket on her head. FYI – that doesn’t mean you get to eat any fruit, nor is there any fruit on your head…

Anyway, as many of you may already know through Apache’s Tribe and Willow, my Mommy Greta passed away last Thursday…

My mommy Greta was beautiful and as goofy as I am, if not goofier. Everything good that I have become has been inherited from her. Her mild temper and her love to love is something that just added to the greatness that she is. I couldn’t have asked to come from a better mommy...

Ever since I was a wee little tyke, I loved on my Mommy Greta…her neck was always a nice place to be. I'm sure she loved having me there, too...

She was nothing short of awesome, and she will be greatly missed…

Since things have been so sad around my house, I took it upon myself to initiate some squeaker therapy. I felt that the mood needed to be lifted, and I’m sure Mommy Greta would be proud of my ability to make those humans laugh.

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all that us four legged humans are awesome! We need to make sure that the humans never forget this, that they adore us forever, and never take for granted everything we do to enrich their lives.

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Are You Ready For Some Football!

2008-09-28T22:22:00.000-07:00

Woot Woot! I am totally ready for the football season!

Do you see this?

Check it out! I’ve got my new football collar! Noah told me about this awesome place called Needle Nose Apparel! There is this woman who make these awesome collars for all of us furry, four legged folk! I know Faya and Gooberstan have some, too!

My tie dye one that so many of you love came from Needle Nose Apparel.

Basically, I’m just trying to be like Eric…I gotta stay in style!

Anyways, beyond the awesomeness that is my new collar, check this out! http://needlenoseapparel.com/Needle_Nose_Apparel/Gallery.html

If you go the site you will see that I am the only terrier that is posted amongst some very handsome four legged humans!

I made a deal with my human. I told her that as long as she didn’t put me in any clothes I would wear as many collars as she wanted. But I heard some rumors about a Halloween costume. I think she is taking back on our deal. I’m not quite sure of the repercussions that she will suffer for this tragic event, but I do know that she will suffer…

By the way! I thought I would give you all an update on all of our friends participating in the Holiday Card Exchange! So far we have about 90 participants! Don’t forget that November 10th is the last day to sign up, so don’t forget to remind all your friends to head over to the DWB site and sign up here http://dogswithblogs.com.au/christmas.htm

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all to support the Football! I think we would all make some great running backs!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Bubbbles!!!

2008-09-25T07:51:00.000-07:00

Hello!

Huh?
What?
Where have I been?

I have been here…waiting…and waiting some more. I keep trying to tell my human that I NEED to go visit all of you, but she claims “BIZ-EE.” I’ll show her biz-ee. I’ll make so much poop in the yard that she’ll never tell me she’s biz-ee again…

Anyway, I went to work with my human the other day. Apparently, the childrens at my humans work have been asking for me! They say, “Where’s Blease?”, “Where’s Sneeze?”, " Where's Weasley" or “Where’s your Aminal?” First of all, I am not a “Blease” or a “Sneeze” or an “Aminal.” And I for sure know that I'm not a weasel Second of all, childrens that I don’t even know want me! My fame must be spreading!

WooHoo for spreading fame!!!

So, ummmm, yes! I went to be a working four legged human and I was molested by a swarm of childrens. They tried to stick their fingers in any open orifice that my body held. I couldn’t plug my nose, so I got a finger up there. I tried to shut my eyes but some little bugger pulled my eyeball open and his friend stuck his phalange in my eyeball. Then another little gal tried to grab my tongue, for that I licked her in the face really good.

Bite I did not…anoyed I was. Someone went after my tail region like she was a vet with a thermometer or something, so I decided it was time to lay down and protect any open cavities.

Want to know what the best part was? It was having 3 childrens laying on top of me and petting me and giggling. It made me wag my tail and I got to kiss them all! Childrens taste delicious, they don’t wipe their mouths after lunch, so I get left overs! Anway, there was this one boy who used to be terrified of me when I was 55 pounds, and he hasn’t seen me in like 3 months and now that I’m 75 pounds he wasn’t afraid of me at all. He even kissed my schnoz.

Anyway after being loved on by some childrens I got to play with some bubbles that taste and smell like chicken! It was awesome!

And don't forget to sign up for the card exchange! If you haven't done it yet you can check out the details here: http://thischewsydalechewsyou.blogspot.com/2008/09/2008-holiday-card-exchange.html

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley singing out and reminding you all to watch out for the childrens with their dirty phalanges…they may need a good cleaning!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Last Week...

2008-09-18T17:05:00.000-07:00

Hey, Hey, Heeeyyy!!! What’s up my furry folk!!!

So, I need to tell you about my week of nothing. Just incase I forgot to tell you all, my human took a week off of work, and she spent most of it with me. She said she needed some time off to do nothing. Now, when she said “nothing” I assumed we would do at least something…but she stuck to her word, we did nothing…

It wasn’t boring though! I spent a lot of time working out my nose…

I also had to make sure that I don’t get any frown lines when I get older, so I try to fall asleep with a smile. After all, it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile!

I took some time out of my day of nothing to relax outside and enjoy some sunshine. I believe that the sun needs to soak up some of my golden spots of fur, so I let it beam up some of the awesomeness that is my fur…

I wafted the air to check for the pollution status. I don’t want my human taking in crappy air…If she stops breathing because the air isn’t pure, then who will feed me? I feel that my nose filters out all of the bad crap in the air, so I put out the good air for my human. It takes a lot of work…

Anyway, moving on…hmmmm OH!!! On Monday I got to go to Day Care all day and it was AWESOME!!! They always tell my human that I’m the best player! I totally play all day. I mean, who wouldn’t! I can go around and play bitey face with anyone, we play tag. The best part is that I get to stand on top of all the toys and agility course stuff when the humans are trying to move them. It’s awesome. I don’t move…It’s like being on top of the world. So, basically I am now the ruler of Day Camp.

Let’s see…I went to training on Tuesday and that was just stoopid. Seriously, my human calls me “Bean Head” when in fact she is the bean head. Every week we go over sit and heel, sit-stay and down-stay, then we finally learn something new. I think she forgets that I already know it all. It’s so boring. I hope Willow’s mom doesn’t put her through this unnecessary BS, it’s lame I tell you!

Hmmmmm, Wednesday…I don’t remember Wednesday, but I’m sure I did a lot of this…

And uhhhh Thursday. Oooooo I remember Thursday, I got to go on a walk in this HUGE park with my human and her friend. When all of a sudden my human took off like super fast, at first I thought she smelled a bad fart, but then a wave of dirt and debris hit me and I realized that we were being attacked by the wind! As we ran I decided my human was too slow, so my Airedale instincts told me to jump high, grab the leash next to my humans hand and lead her through the park. She had contacts and was pretty much blind ‘cause of the dirt, so of course, as usual…Bease saved the day!

Friday my human took me to a new groomer and they were awesome! They totally made me look like an Airedale and downsized the skirt that the old groomer left me with. I feel a little more manly now…

My eyebrows are still way fuzzy and awesome!

My human wants me to grow out a mohawk and have a gold collar. She feels that I would be a much cuter version of a Mr. T…afterall, I am Mr. T-Bone Beasley. I told her my concerns with a mohawk. Mostly, I feel that the new hair-do will mess up the awesomeness of my eyebrows. I dunno, she still wants me to have one. And I want her to grow a beard, she looks naked without one.

I spent a lot of the weekend supervising the cats…

Linus was trying to tell Satan a joke…

She said he was stoopid…

Then she said “I’ll show you stoopid…”

Words and hissing were exchanged, so I stepped in to mediate the issue and I got a claw to the schnozz. Then Satan bit my ear.

The human stepped in and saved me. I played like I was hurt and tried to curl up in her lap for some loving…but the human wasn’t big enough. She needs to be fatter, I’m sure she would make a great bed with a little more chub…

So in a nutshell, that was my week of nothing. Basically, it was awesome…it would have been better if I had Deetz around to play with. I think we could have a heavy game of bitey face and tag! Woot Woot!!!

Don’t forget to sign up for the 2008 Holiday Card Exchange! Check out my previous blog entry to get all the info! I’m already thinking of awesome cards for you all! Hehehehe!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley reminding you all to keep up your nose exercises, and don’t let those frown lines sneak up on you! Always smile!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

2008 Holiday Card Exchange!

2008-09-15T01:36:00.000-07:00

Hello friends!!!

Yes, I am back! Finally!

My human took a week off of work to spend some more time with me. She said she took off work so she wouldn’t have to work, but I know it was all done for me! I can’t wait to show you guys all of the nothing we did for the entire week, but right now I have something much more important to discuss with you all!

The 2008 Holiday Card Exchange! Woohoo! My human is way excited about this, but not nearly as much as I am! This will be my first year to personally sniff and lick a card, then send it to you all! I can’t wait!

What we need is for you all to go to http://dogswithblogs.com.au/christmas.htm and submit your information. My human will put it all together with all of your names and stuff, then we will get the list out to you all and the card sending will commence! Woohoo for card sending! We are hoping to get all of the cards mailed out by the beginning of December, just to ensure that everyone receives their cards on time. (I believe I remember hearing Lorenza say that she received a few cards wwwaaaaaayyyyy after the holidays!!!)

I even got a button with my face on it! How exciting is that! So, I need you all to help get the word out! We want this year to be huge! The best part is that we get to send as many cards out as we want! This means that I will get to send out some personally approved cards to those that I don’t even know! What a great way to spread the holiday cheer by getting to know all the other four legged humans out there!

I’m gonna pee I’m so excited, well not really. I don’t have much pee left, I just peed like 5 minutes ago and made a lake!

I hope you are all doing well! And remember to sign up for the 2008 Holiday Card Exchange, I can’t wait to start licking those envelopes! I wonder if there is a beef flavored envelope….

This is a very excited Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and I will make sure to update you all on my week of nothing next time!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Flashing Silver Box...

2008-09-07T23:37:00.000-07:00

So, the 4XB’s got me thinking about becoming a model. Now, I understand that my modeling will never reach their level of awesomeness, but I thought I might as well give it a try.

Alas, I let the human bring out her little silver box…again…so that she may adore all of my cuteness and of course the curliness that I am at this point! My eyebrows are starting to turn to dreads on their own! Now, if that’s not cool, well, then I don’t know what is!

So, basically here I am…

After a while I became rather annoyed. I mean, the flash, the “Look Bease” when nothing is there to look at but her empty fingers…

So I decided to turn my head and show a bit of my profile. After all, my left is the better side!

Satan became jealous! I could tell because she let out a scream. Not really, she just yawned, but still…I’m sure it was a jealous yawn…

So the human turned to Satan and helped her self esteem by letting her take up some space in her little silver flashing box.

We tried to get Linus, but he wasn’t down…can you tell?

Anyways, I aspire to be like to 4XB’s, but I think I need to learn how to smile with my eyes. That’s what Tyra Banks always talks about anyway…

Look what Chef gave me!

It’s awesome ‘cause I love his blog too! Chef is way wise…he can teach you anything you want to know about sticks…and kitty stalking too…Thanks Chef!!!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Curiosity Killed The Cat...

2008-09-02T15:48:00.000-07:00

Do you see the concern in my eyeballs…perhaps the worry? Or maybe you see a little curiosity??? Oh…that’s right, you don’t! Because it’s not there! What your are looking at my friends, are the eyeballs of a very annoyed Mr. T-Bone Beasley.

Gasp! I know right! Me…annoyed, how could that ever be? Well, it’s ‘cause of the human! Her and her paranoia is really starting to irk me.

This past week the human has noticed some weird random scabs that were appearing in this area of my fuzzy body.

Note that these little bumps don’t bother me at all. I didn’t even know they were there! It’s all the human!

They weren’t so much on my glorious butt or on my fro-ish thighs…but more so on my back, and just a little bit on my neck.

All I can say is that I’m so happy they never appeared here.

That would have been tragic and something to sound the alarms for. There are NEVER to be any blemishes on my juicy schnozz. That’s my poker…and sniffer…I need that bad boy!

Last week it wasn’t such a big deal, and since my human didn’t make it a big deal I made sure to show her my appreciation by a few more love nips and a good snuggle, and of course a little more nose time…

Then, yesterday she said, “Hmmmm I’m curious as to what those bumps are, Bease…” Quickly I got up and moved away, hoping that she would forget about it…but that twerp followed me! Can you believe her nerve? Don’t the humans know that curiosity is what killed the cat!

Anyway, despite my efforts to bring amnesia upon the human…I was taken into the vet this afternoon! OOOOOO I forgot to tell you all! Today I’m 8 months old! For reals though! A whole 8 months…I’m like big dog status now! Not only am I 8 months old, but I am also 74.2 pounds. I’m not even a fatty…just large…like a pony…

Okay, so the vet and all of the nurses came by and loved on me and commented on what a good boy I was. After the Vet gave me a thorough and relaxing rub down she said that it looks like I had a small skin infection which is common when it’s so hot and humid out. She thinks that I got a scratch and with the weather being so yucky, it got infected and spread to my some of my other wonderfully Beasinated pores…thus I got little scabs.

Vet said that it can get worse, so it was good that the human decided to bring me in. For that, the vet got one of my very indignant looks…I’m sure you all know that face, I bet you give it to your humans too.

Anyway, I now have to take a bath once a week for a few weeks with some special shampoo, and I also got a tube of medicine…whatever.

The good news is that I get to take these…

With this…

So all’s not bad I suppose!

I just gotta let the human know what’s up is all…

This is Mr. T-Bone signing out and reminding you all that curiosity could potentially kill the human…forget the cat…

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Pee Ess...Don't forget to check out the contest that Faya and Amber-Mae put together for the Kong contest . There's still time to vote! So head on over and get your vote on! Woohoo!

Stormage!

2008-08-30T17:51:00.000-07:00

Hello my friends! Sorry to not have blogged in quite some time, but we have been having some big storms here in Arizona…well, big for Arizona anyway.

I had a good time getting all smelly in the mud and stuff, but even I got a little grossed out by my stentch. Thus, I opted for a bath…by my own will too. This must be a sign of becoming a big boy or something. Maybe… But, secretly…between just all of us, my human first put me in the bath, then bathed me. After I got all dry and stuff I chose to go back to the tub, lick up the remaining water then dig at the tub a bit, just to show it who is boss.

Here is Arizona before the storm…

Then for some reason, the sky God’s were having a rave in the sky! All their sweat fell on us, it was like raining and stuff!

Hehehe, so hopefully the internet connection stays working well!

I keep Linus company while he tries to stay hidden in a box!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all to stay away from the lightening…cooked hotdogs belong on the grill…mmm hotdogs…

I'll sniff yah later...

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Kong-licious!

2008-08-24T23:29:00.000-07:00

TaDa!!!! Presto, Poof and Kazaam! Hehehe! I present to you, a kong! Yes, yes…a glorious Kong!

Here, I was as a ‘lil tyke about 5 months ago enjoying my peanut buttery goodness that was stuffed inside my Kong…

And here is the paste that is put inside the Kong…

And this is what Kong paste looks like when squirted on a nice and juicy schnozz…

You can enjoy a Kong anywhere! I prefer to slobber up a good Kong on the humans bed…err excuse me, my bed. I look like Pooh Bear licking clean the honey pot!

I love the Kongs so much that I dream about them and mistake my own tastey paw for peanut butter Kong stuffin’…

Holey Kongs aren’t the only Kongs out there. There is also something called the Kong Wubba… I figure even the Wubba should have some sort of hole in it. You gotta put the peanut butter somewhere!

After demolition of the yellow Wubba, I moved onto turning the red Wubba into a hole filled, peanut butter holding Kong…

As magical as the Kong family is…I have decided that I thoroughly enjoy my new Everlasting Fun Ball! You all gotta try this bad boy out!

I dream about the Everlasting Fun Ball too!!!

Wooohooo!

Kong on my friends, Kong on!!!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

I'm Gonna Be A Surgeon!

2008-08-19T22:05:00.000-07:00

HI!!! Hello! Greetings and Salutations my friends!

This morning I woke my human up with the sweet screaming of a dying baseball! It was such a great sound the ball was making, until the human came and took it away.

I think I’m going to be a surgeon when I grow up…

Today was my second class of obedience training! And guess what!!! I was the best in the class! For reals! I was the best! Last time I was the worst, but that was only so I could make a point…this time I wowed everyone, even Gregg the trainer!

We worked real hard on sit and stay. I’m pretty good at staying. My God Human comes with me and my Human to training so she can learn too. So, today my Human let her work with me one on one, and I was good at first, but then…well I just really wanted to be with MY Human. So, sometimes I wouldn’t stay, but that’s only ‘cause my human was lonely…she looked like she needed a Mr. T-Bone Beasley by her side. Besides, all the other dogs were looking at her and seemed interested by her…I just wanted them all to know that she is my human.

Anyway, here are some pictures of me on the way to class. You can kinda see my mixed emotions of sadness and excitedness…

I have to rest up real good tonight, ‘cause tomorrow (Wednesday morning) I’m going to my Daycare! I can’t wait! I get to play ALL day…then I sleep for like 2 days straight. It allows my human some good snuggle time with me!

Hehehe!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all that if you must go through obedience training, have your human cut up the pupperonni treats as the rewards! Those things are delish!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Where Did I Go?

2008-08-17T22:36:00.001-07:00

Fear not my furry friends!!! I have arrived! I am back! No thanks to my human of course!

Have you ever felt neglected? Like you weren’t number one on your Humans mind? Well…NOT ME!!! Woohoo! That’s why I haven’t been around lots, this time it’s not my humans fault…it’s all mine! I’ve been soaking up all her time and love, and it’s been glorious!

It all started on August 5th…the day I was going to disown my human. It was my first day of school. That’s right! I was being learned! I was way excited to train my human, until I realized that I was being drug around a room with my human shouting “SIT!” “HEEL!” And all I could do was put on my brakes and act like I didn’t know how to walk on a leash or sit.

My ultimate goal was to embarrass the living crap outta my human. I think I succeeded. If I had cheeks and lips I would have told my human F--- YOU, then covered her in my hateful spit! Hehehe, I was so angry at her. The trainer put this gentle leader thing around my nose, so I had to listen…quickly I learned to dislike him as much as my human, but he made me listen to him. My human wasn’t quite so lucky…

The next day I decided to cut my human some slack and I showed her how well I could sit and heel. This coming Tuesday I’m going to class again, hopefully this time I get to teach my human how to sit and heel.

I have so much to talk about and tell you all, but I will have to fit little pieces in here and there with some other posts.

But here is one HUGE update! My God Human adopted a new kitty! YEA!!! I have another toy in the house. But, I’m really nice to him. Wanna hear the funny thing about this new guy? Well first, we names him Linus, secondly, he looks exactly like Satan!!!

Here he is!!!

Here is Satan!

And here they are together!

Satan doesn’t quite like Linus yet, so she spends a lot of time with me. Whenever they hiss and growl at each other I have to be the mediator. I get up and nose them both…they know what’s up…

Speaking of Satan, she has been stealing my treats lately. She has figured out how to get in the box. I'm not very fond of her new found ability.

Next…I got this Red Bow award from my real good friend Chef.

Chef is way awesome and I’m so thankful to have such a great friend like him. Infact, OH CRAP!!! I feel a rap coming on!!!!

Wicky Wicky, his name is Chef and he’s a stylish dude. Right now he’s trying to win the ladies and is trying not to be rude. He likes this girl Gucci and wants to sniff her butt! He told me I need to find a girl and all I could say is…WHAT! My main man Chef he’s got this quirky face that always shows that love and sticks are always coming in first place. Sticks come first, love comes second then some belly rubs…well why not? He’s already naked!

Hehehehe WOOT WOOT! Much love to you Chef!!!

Nextly, I got this Good Friend award from my farting friend, DEETZ! Deetz was like my first friend ever on blogger!!! Wanna know a secret? At first I thought he was a girl, and I asked if he would be my girlfriend…I’m sure this is when he knew that we were gonna be some awesome friends! Oh…OHHHH it’s happening again!!! Another rap!!

Jiggy Jiggy, D-D-D-Deetz my first friend ever well he likes to fart, the louder the better! He likes his snackies and his older little bro Gizmo, but when he doesn’t get enough treats he says, “Hey, I want some MO!” We both bottle farts so we can fly far and play some massive bitey face then fly home just by opening a jar! Deetz, he’s awesome he trains his mum well. When he barks she answers even when he’s in jail!

WOOOT!!!

Lastly, I received this awesome credit card award from my friends Kirby, George and Levi and Angel Cooper. Kirby is awesome. He like’s to open boxes the same way I do! We both know that the corner approach is the best way to get a box open, while ensuring that the grand box flavor is savored in every bite! And George, well…SHE is the coolest! You would think that she would be a boy, but she’s not…she’s like a spy! Hehehehe! Levi is one of my newest friends who is fond of hate eating and paper shredding (which is like music to my ears) and Cooper is such a good friend that watches over his family and all of us! Woot Woot!

Thanks so much to everyone who passed awards on to me! You truly made my week, and if I could I would lick you all on the nose!

Speaking of noses…I need to go check on Faya’s nose…I gotta make sure it’s still looking good and juicy!

OHHHHHH and for real lastly…Lacie said she is gonna be my personal trainer. She’s gonna whip my dale booty (my corn dog tail as some of you would recognize it) into shape! Lacie~ I’ve already started working out. Last Thursday I ran like all day. I didn’t swim, or do push ups, but I for sure ran!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all to put your names on the top of your human’s lists!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Chickens!!!

2008-08-05T13:43:00.000-07:00

Salutations my friends!!! First of all, please accept my apologies for my humans laziness. I told her that it was way important to stop by all your blogs this weekend, but instead she took me to like this mini farm thing that belongs to a friend of hers.

YEA!!! Like a farm with chickens and horses, and another dog name Black Berry!

This is Black Berry, and my corndog tail! Dang I have a great butt!

Me and Black Berry again, keeping a look out for chickens!

Then, we went to a grassy area. I tried to play bitey face, but Black Berry wanted a piggy back ride. I wouldn’t let him on…

After we played for a bit, it was time to find those chickens!!! I got to chase one! It made all sorts of cool sounds, and I found out that chickens can fly really, REALLY high! Yea! I totally chased it over a fenced after it hovered for a while! Unfortunately, my human didn’t get a picture of my great chicken hunt. She was trying to catch me without having a chicken fly into her head.

I would have loved if a chicken flew into my head!

There was a Zebra chicken…

And an Afro chicken…that one was my favorite!

A couple of peacocks…

Once my human was able to capture me, I was locked out of the chicken area! Why do I always have to be behind bars! “I’m locked up, they won’t let me out, locked up they won’t let me out!” I totally feel Akon the rapper’s pain in this song!

And this is Nelly the horse. I went to go sniff her until a human came running and said that she likes to bite dogs…So I got yanked by the butt, which I did not appreciate...my corndog tail is way sensitive!

Here are a couple more pictures of the horses! You will notice my humans white and pastey arm feeding a horse! A horse! And she wouldn’t let me have any of the food! This is one of those moments where she is evil!

And there was another moment that her evil side showed up. This is a pool…

Not any pool of course, the pool that my human put me in. She wanted to see if I could swim, or even liked to swim. I tried to remind her of the time I fell in the deep end of the lake at the dog park, and was forced to swim…but she said that didn’t count.

So, in I went! It took me a little bit to get my back paddlers to work. Luckily, my butt floats! I tried to get out at the deep end, but there were no steps, and I can’t quite yet figure out how to turn around. So, at that point I became panicked! The God human turned me around and I was able to swim back to safety! I was so exhausted, that I couldn’t even get out of the water…I stretched out on the steps and rested my chin on the deck of the pool and just stared at my human. At that point she knew of my unhappiness, but all she did was laugh! She’s evil, no? Again, there was no picture…the human was busy playing life guard!

After all the stress of finding a chicken while being locked up, I got hungry. So I found some chicken poo that smelled like a good thing to eat! So I ate it…then barfed it back up! It was pretty cool, the human nearly gagged…but I like playing magic tricks like that! I make things disappear and re-appear!

There was also a pot in the backyard that I was afraid of! It was a way creepy pot! My tail was totally tucked and I tried to stay low to the ground!

When I got home I crashed, hard. The human even poked me and I wouldn’t move my head, just my eyes…if even that! It was a long day.

I hope some day my human gets me my very own chicken. Until then, my chicken comes to me in a pot!

Pee-Ess: Everyone keep your Paws Crossed for Jackson!!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding everyone to be on the look out for chickens!!!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

The Treats Arrived!

2008-07-30T07:10:00.000-07:00

They arrived!!! The treats that Gaia sent finally arrived! It was so exciting! When my human walked up to the front door there was the box, just sitting there in the heat! And of course I could smell it from the inside the house, while suspensfully (yes I said suspensfully) waiting for the treat giving to begin!

When my human finally let me out of my prison box, also known as my crate, I ran right to the table where the box resided on the dinner table. Then, my human did the dumbest thing I think I’ve ever seen her do! The moron put the box in the freezer! How the heck was I suppose to open my box when it’s frozen! She’s CRAZY!!!

Turns out, the box was hot and needed to cool down, thus the insides of the box were also hot and needed to cool down. Sometimes I forget that I’m not the only hot one. I should have been more sensitive to the box and its hotness. So, really…my human isn’t too crazy. Secretly though, she’s pretty crazy…you ought to see the looks on her face when my toys are murdered by the C-A-T (I don’t do it! Really…) or when new holes and water sprinklers are exposed in the backyard (again…the cat. It’s always Satan’s fault. I do no wrong).

Anyway, once the box felt some relief from the heat…I got my chompers ready and shouted to my human, “Let the box opening COMMENCE!”

In my mad attempt to get the insides out, my human snatched the box and pulled the insides out! Look what we found! My treats from Gaia! I could smell Gaia all over them! I think she probably tried to eat one of mine…who could blame the girl! These things looked delish! No amount of drool could keep me from these treats!

My human let me eat the biggest and fattest treat first…

You can tell they were good…I had my happy ears on! Happy ears are the ultimate expression of my glee! I kinda look like I could fly away like Dumbo…Hey! Maybe that’s all I got to do to meet up with Deetz! I need to get my ears muscular enough to lift me and fly away. DEETZ!!WILLOW!!! Listen up! The bottled farts may not be the best bet right now! The pollution may be too great anyway. So, here’s the new plan…start building muscle in our ears, and learn to fly. But maybe we should keep bottling our farts incase flying turns out not to be our forte!

Ummmmm Beeeyotch!!! Human! I have three more treats…where are they! I have totally waited and have yet to devour the other treats!

Anyway! Onto the greatness that is treats! Look what other treat I got!

It was totally made for me! So I made sure I ate it well, and with a little delicacy … but just a little.

While I was consuming all that is a Beasley treat, Satan walked by. I became a little stressed, as you can see…

I mean who wouldn’t be! So many thoughts were going through my head. Was Satan going to try and eat my treat if I didn’t’ finish it fast enough? Should I ditch the treat and get Satan! The stress was clearly too much…

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all to check out the yumminess that are the treats from my friend Gaia!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Huge Explosion!

2008-07-28T10:02:00.000-07:00

Did you guys hear it??? Did you? I missed it! I didn't even hear it, but look!!! Larry the Lobster exploded!

I think Satan did it! In fact, I'm sure Satan did it! I bet she waved her tail infront of Larry's face, and Larry being allergic to C-A-T-S, sneezed! He sneezed so hard that he blew out his stuffing!

Okay, now...if you didn't hear Larry the Lobster explode, then I'm sure you had to hear this!

YES!!! Eli Stripes the Eel!! He sploded too! I'm sure Satan was behind this too! She knew that C-A-T-S make Eli Stripes the Eel sick when he swallows C-A-T fuzz! I bet she took her tail and put it in his mouth!

Oh the HORROR! The EVIL!!! The MADNESS!!!! Poor Eli Stripes the Eel, he threw up all of his insides!

I loved those two the most! I only had one Tuff Toys left! My star...so I loved on him lots!

Huh? What? No No No! I didn't do it! I was uhhh...well I was trying to put the stuffing back inside! It was Satan! Satan did it! She clawed Starry to death!

I tried telling my human that I needed a new Larry, Eli Stripes and Starry...when she reminded me about my beloved Squiggly...

Please tell me you heard the exposion of my favorite Squigg! I woke up from a nap (it was weird I couldn't remember anything when I woke up) and there lied Squiggly, right next to me...he exploded! I tried to give him one final play time, but the human said it was time to let him rest. So, I got a new Squiggly...

Squigg number one and Squigg number two were introduced and Squigg number one gave Squigg number two some valuable play time tips. He wanted the new Squigg to know what makes me happy.

Then it happened, I kissed and tugged on Squiggly number one for the last time, then he went into the GARBAGE!

Eh, oh well! I had a new Squigg to break in!

I loved on him lots and made sure that when he grew old he would have lots of stories to share with all my other toys...until this...

I don't know if you can tell, but his head Sploded, too. I have no idea what happened to him. I went to play with him this morning, but then I realized that his head was empty and his fuzz was missing. After a careful inspection of my house I found his insides all over. I have yet to find out what Satan did to him...

In any event, because of Satan and the multiple explosions...the human has denied me a new Squiggly and new Tuff Toys...sigh...

Until my human caves in, I'm gonna try and de-stuff this!

What? She's my C-A-T! JB...I would never bother you okay? It's just that Satan wants me to...she told me...she likes when I chase her and try to play bitey face...

On a brighter note, this morning I woke up my human really early. She didn't hear my whining at the door. So I got myself all hot, then I jumped on the bed and snuggled on her real good while panting. At 70 pounds I make the whole bed move. So, there was nothing left for her to do, but wake her lazy self up and adore me...and feed me!

Speaking of food...I'm finally able to eat big dog food! My human is mixing my puppy chow and big dog food so my belly doesn't get all upset and stuff. Oh man! I love the big dog food. I'm totally ready to be a REAL big dog! So...I try to eat around all the puppy bits and eat mostly just the big dog food!

Finally, look what my God Human got me! Yea!!! She got me a new toy! It makes my nose dance!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all to plug your ears incase there is another explosion in the near future!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

You Want Me To Do What?

2008-07-22T13:34:00.000-07:00

Hello my friends! Right now I’m experiencing a lot of emotions running through my fuzzy body. I can’t decide if I wanna chew up a shoe, kiss my human with lots of slobber, chase Satan the cat, play a game of bitey face, or just nap.

See, my day started just like any other day. As my human was heading out to Petsmart I looked at her with the face of “I want more bully sticks, rawhides, pig hooves, and a new stuffie to appreciate….AAAAnnnnnnddd…” and that’s where my human stopped my thought process and said, “Sorry Bease you’ve got enough treats and toys, right now. Today you are just getting some more food. We are going to help out someone else who needs it! Sometimes it’s better to give than to receive.”

What the crap! I totally enjoy receiving! I give plenty! I give smelly farts to my human, slobbery kisses, love bites, holes to put rocks in…and the list goes on…

So my human suckered me into listening to a story by grabbing a chewy from my dog closet…Since I had to hear it, well I thought it would be something you all would like to hear too..

Her name is Allison. As a child she grew up in an unsanitary orphanage and was one of many who contracted Polio as a toddler. Against all odds she survived this deadly disease and was strong enough to live her life to the best of her ability. She overcame all odds, after all, she was a survivor. She wasn't expected to walk, but proved that she could do anything, and was able to walk.

This is where I intervened and said, “uhhhh human? What the crap is polio?” The human then explained polio to be Poliomyelitis which is a very contagious disease caused by a virus. It takes over the nervous system, and can potentially create complete paralysis. It most commonly affects children under three. This virus starts infecting the intestines and then begins to multiply after it is ingested through the mouth. Symptoms of polio infection are similar to those of the flu, except that stiffness occurs in the neck and extraneous limbs.

After I realized what we were talking about I put my nose to the ground and continued to listen to my human.

This Allison now lives in a rural part of Maine. She continued to work hard and prove her abilities to overcome any obstacles. She raised children, went back to College, received a degree and even volunteered to help others that were in need. Through all of this she never had to ask for help or even complained. She was very proud of her ability to remain independent and self sufficient.

About six years ago, she collapsed while working, and was diagnosed with post-polio. From this point forward she lost her ability to walk and has been confined to the use of a wheelchair. Still, she doesn’t let this diagnosis get her down. After all, she dealt with everything thus far and was still feeling alive, this was just another obstacle to over come.

And here is the reason that my human has decided to cut back on my toy and treat intake…

Allison now needs help. Through her life of volunteering and helping others, many have turned their backs on her. At this point in Allison’s life she is in need of a service dog. My breeder and first surrogate human…Mommy Sherry has volunteered to donate a 7 month old, all black Airedale named, Sierra…and here she is! In all her glory!

Aren't her ears awesome! She looks like she could fly away!!! She has like bat ears!!!

Now, this beautiful dale is being donated along with free service training for Sierra from another self less human who just wants to help…

Apparently, my human and I will be donating some money to the cause! Though I thought we were stinkin’ rich, my human says we aren’t, but it’s always good to help out those in need. And that’s when she said, “now Bease, if you got sick and I couldn’t afford to help you out with all you needed, wouldn’t like others to help?” Uhhhh, duh human! Of course I would want help!!!! Who wouldn't want to help out one of us critters?!?!

So, being the fuzz bucket of love that I am, I have decided to forfeit a months worth of treats and new toys so that my human can help a little more.

We’ve already got about $100.00, but need about $1,000 more! This includes the materials it will take to train Sierra, shipping cost and getting Sierra spade. If we get more, everything will go toward helping to maintain a happy life for Sierra!

If any of you are able to help out even a little, please e-mail me at mr.tbonebeasley@yahoo.com and I will send you further information!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley, donator extraordinaire signing out! Hehehehe!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Just Hosin' Around...

2008-07-20T20:25:00.000-07:00

Greetings from my backyard!!! Over the weekend, while my human was sleeping I found these!

Yea! That's right! Whoever buried the sprinkler hoses in the backyard obviously didn't dig them deep enough, because it was a piece of cake to get to them. I even chomped on one a bit and gave it a tug! The coolest part of it, is that when I pulled on the hose it came further and further out of the groud! Mmmmm, chewy gummy hosey goodness!

So, when my human woke up she could do nothing but laugh...She let me have my fun for a little bit more...

But, then she decided to patch up the holes and burry the hoses a little deeper. So, while my human was sleeping I didn't dig up the hoses just for fun...I dug them up because I've noticed that my human has been gaining a little weight. Thus, by me digging up the hose, she had to buy a shovel and dig into the dirt and do a little manual labor. Of course she got the boy human to help her out so they both lost a little weight thanks to my hard work.

Ahhhh what I won't do for my human!

Now, I was tagged by Penny, Poppy and Patches for the Name Meme game...

1. What is your name? Officially, it is Mr. T-Bone Beasley. However, I also go by Bease, Beasley, T-Bone, Big Bear, Mr. T, You Little ~bleep~, DAMN'T MY SHOE!, and Bean Head. Those are the most recent names, of today any way. My human likes to be creative with my names and of course I don't mind...a little variety is good I suppose.

2. If you could change your name, what would it be? Beasley Ruler of the World!!! Or Fuzz Bucket of Love wouldn't be so bad either.

3. What is your pet's name (it can be a webkinz or a real pet)? I have my Squiggly dog that I like to beat up more often than not. If I get a little rough with him I also give him a few kisses to heal any wounds that I may have brought him.

4. What is your brother or sister's name? Don't have one of those, but I do have a cat named Satan who is my roommate!

Okay, I think lots of you furry ones out there have been tagged, so I won't tag anymore!

Abby also awarded me the Arte-y-Pico award!!!

In accordance with the rules set by Arte-y-Pico I must clearly state THE RULES...so grab a pawtini and make yourselves comfy...here you go...

1) You have to pick FIVE blogs that you consider deserve this award for creativity, design, interesting material and also contribute to the blogger community regardless of language.

2) Each award has to have the name of the author and a link to his/her blog to be visited.

3) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given him/her the award itself.

4) Award winners and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of the "Arte-y-Pico" blog so everyone will know the origin of the award

5) In compliance with said RULES, the award winner must show the RULES.

Now, I'm thinking that lots of others have received this award...so I will pick one other to share the award with! I would like to pass this along to the 4xB's! They always come up with some of the best stories...and there are four of them! So, really...it's like each of them are getting the award! Woohoo! Go 4xB's!!!

Thank you so much Abby! You brought a huge toothy grin to my face today! For you I will go in the backyard a dig a new hole, in the name of Abby!

Lastly, I would like to remind everyone that our friends Faya and Willow have been nominated over at the Bone Zone! Faya is up for the Awesome Blog of the Month Award and Willow is up for the Best Picture of the Month Award!! Go get your vote on my friends!!

And lastly, lastly...please don't forget to vote for the best pictures of the International Goodie Exchange at Chef's photo album! If you need your post posted on the photo album, just let me know and I'll get my human on it PRONTO!!!

Hope all is good in your neighborhoods! Remember to keep a watch out for any and everything that may step foot in your yards!!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

POOP!

2008-07-17T00:07:00.000-07:00

Okay, well where do I begin...perhaps I shall start with the title of this post, poop. You read right my friends...poop.

Tuesday afternoon my human put me in my crate, turned on the fan and some music and left for work. I was in pretty good spirits when she left, I mean I was pretty tired and I got a treat. So being in my crate meant that I could eat and sleep without some human constantly petting me and kissing my head.

At about 6:30 pm my human received a call from my God human. Why you ask...well because I had a serious case of the runs! Like really bad. See I'm a pretty clean dog, I have a thing about pooping and peeing in spots that I will NEVER play in or NEVER sleep in. Needless to say, the crate is not where I do my business. I was plenty angry by the time my God human got home to spring me free. I had my poo all over me, all over my crate and all on the outside of my crate (I really tried hard not to poo on the inside). Anyway, so my God human was worried and tried to clean up the mess...when she came outside to check on me I kept poo-ing and well, I kinda poo-ed out some blood...well okay a lot of blood in each poo. She freaked out, which freaked me out...then it happened, she called my human!

Next thing I know, my human was at the door...she had that look on her face. You all know what look I'm talking about, the look of "you're going to the vet, you're going to get poked and prodded, and I'm about to pay a lot of money." Then she did the ONE thing I hate the most! She inspected my poo! What is with these humans and their obsession about poo? Then what does she do? SHE BAGS IT! It's bad enough that I had to spend the afternoon laying in the poo, but she was going to bring bags of it to the Vet with us, and she tells me that I do disgusting things?

I got to the vet and cried when we walked in so they would get me in faster. I feel that the faster I get in, the faster I get out. They pulled me to the back and asked my human a million questions while they felt around my belly, put a thermometer in my butt and then listened to my heart with this stethoscope thing that I tried really hard to eat...it touched me first, it pretty much invited me to eat it!

Anyway, who cares what I ate or if there were any changes in my environment! I just wanted someone to make the burning in my butt go away! By the way, I got weighed while I was there and I am now 67 pounds! The vet tried to freak out my human by saying all the things I could be sick with, then suggested all these different tests that could be done.

As soon as I heard "tests" I knew that meant my butt was going to have more troubles than just burning, so I shot my human the "I'm ready to go home look" and she just asked the vet what was necessary and what she would do for her own pet. The vet looked like she hadn't heard that before...so in all honesty she said that she wouldn't waste the money it would cost to test me at the hospital. She believed that I had Colitis, (upset Colin) I should be put on a bland diet and take some pills that will ease the swelling of my Colin. She also suggested a rectal exam...which I got...stupid human...I sniff her butt and she jumps, wait till she has to get a real rectal exam!

And I also got some fluid put under the scruff of my neck to keep my hydrated! I looked like a camel!

On the way out I met my new friend Gelato. He was at the ER because he got bit on the foot really bad. We were instant friends!

~Sigh~ When I got home I still wasn't feeling my 100% Awesomeness that is Bease...so I layed on the couch next to my human and told my hedgehog about my day...and my paranoid human.

Today, my butt is feeling better, and my human says that my poo is looking better. I don't even look at it, ones it hits the ground I'm outta there! That stuff stinks!

The good thing about being sick is that my human made me some chicken and rice, and today I got to eat some cottage cheese. I got little bits stuck in my fur...

Then, I got to chew on the container...

And my human wonders why my butt got sick...

Anyway, thanks to the chicken, rice and cottage cheese (my first taste of human food) I'm feeling much better. It doesn't hurt that my human loves on me and snuggles me when I'm nighmare-ing over the vet and the prodding.

Before I peace out, I want you all to know that if you stop by Chef's place you can vote on the best of the International Goody Exchange pictures! I know this all happened over a month ago, but it took the post office over a month just to get my package to my beloved friend Chef!!! You should all check it out! There are some awesome pictures of you all opening your presents and digging out the goods!!! So go get your vote on! Woohoo!

AAAANNNNND...I received this from my buddy Rambo!

He is one of my newest friends that I met on here! Make sure you all check him out and sniff out his space! Thanks so much for the Big Puffy Heart Rambo, you totally made my day! I would like to pass this along to Chef, Deetz, Faya and Willow! Those four always know what to say to bring a toothy grin to my face!

This is the now happily fuzzy butted Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all that if you hear your humans say the word "Vet," make sure you look like you feel 110% at all cost! For the sake of your butts don't ever let them know you feel icky!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Flash Back Friday!

2008-07-11T00:20:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my version of Flash Back Friday! Today you will see all of the awesomeness that I was before you knew me! Woohoo! Here we go!

This is me and my brother Waldo...eating. And that's my Mommy Greta! I'm in blue collar, closest to Mommy Greta's head.

This is me and sister Lola snuggling. I'm closest to the ruler!

I woke up...I smelled my Mommy Greta near...

Getting closer!!!

Ohhhh yea, that's the good stuff!

Pssst...Mommy...I'm hungry...and I love you!

I'm at the bottom of the pile...

I got my resting bat ears from my Mommy Greta! Do you see the resemblance?

"Locked up they won't let me out, I'm locked up...they won't let me out." I was rapping with Akon as soon as I could open my eyes...

Woof!!!

Brother Waldo, you wanna sniff my butt?

I learned the art of bitey face at a young age...

Sister Lola, I dare you to take my red ball...

Lola wasn't fast enough

My butt makes for a good pillow for my Sister Lola

Doin' The Roach!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm closest to the wagon!

The day before meeting my human! Can you see the fear in my eyes?

Do you think if I still looked like a little ball of black fuzz I could get away with more? Tonight I had a fist shaking at my nose because I was destroying errrr I mean re-organizing my humans flip flop - it needed more texture. A fist shaking is a sign of "BAD BOY!" I hate that phrase, so when I see the fist I drop whatever I got, unless it's a treat!

Anyway! Here I am now! I hope you all have a great weekend! This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Bit 'O Bad News

2008-07-08T22:55:00.000-07:00

Well, my friends...unfortunately, this isn't going to be the best post ever. I have a bit 'o bad news to share with you all. I begged my human not to post this, but alas, she said this blog was about me and what goes on in my world. ~Sigh~ So, here it is...

I know most of you are familiar with Satan the Cat, however, I don't much talk about the other cat that lives with me. Her name is Scooter. And here she is... She is the blackish grey kitty. She's about 13 years old...

Okay so here is the bad news that must be delivered...

It all started out Monday afternoon. My human went off to work and shortly after she left my God human arrived to spring me free from my crate. She was paying a lot of attention to Scooter that afternoon. I heard her calling my human, she sounded upset and I noticed that water was falling from her eyes. Being that I was thirsty anyway, I decided to lick the water up and clean her face a little bit. It was weird...normally, when I do that the humans giggle and the water stops falling from their eyes, but this time it didn't do anything. I think I must have lost my touch, either that or I am broken...

Next thing I know my human is at the front door! That's right! She came home early from work just to see me! She walked through that door with a big smile on her face, and some very large and delicious looking sunglasses that I couldn't wait to lick. But she ignored me! I was stunned and at a complete loss for words! As my God human left with water running down her face she grabbed a big bundle of blankets and I was once again shunned and left to be alone in my crate. I was so busy being mad that it took a little time for me to realize that Scooter was missing. I'm pretty sure that she was in the bundle of blankets with my God human, but I couldn't be sure...

So I waited, waited, waited...and waited some more. Then FINALLY! The humans arrived home. This time, both of the humans had water falling from their eyes, and unfortunately I wasn't thirsty! There was no way I could clean both of their faces in a timely manner.

After I got out all of my excitement, I realized that Scooter was missing. At first I thought maybe someone stole her, and that's why my human and God human looked like they got punched in the eyeballs, 'cause they faught to get Scooter away from the theif...

Next thing I knew my human let me and all of my 64.2 pounds lay on her while she whispered in my ear. At first I didn't understand what she was saying, nor did I care...she was stroking my ear and I nearly fell asleep until I realized that she whispered something like, "Never during the 8 months that I waited for you did I think about this part of things...I never thought that one day I was going to have to let you go, that some day a part of me would be missing, maybe I never should have gotten a Little T-Bone, because I don't think I will be able to handle losing you."

ACK!!!! Now, I don't know about all of you, but what I think she meant was that she wished she never got me! Well...I had to clear that up REAL QUICK! I got to work on her face...and let me tell you, it did not taste good at all! I worked real hard, so hard that I got thirsty and had to get the biggest drink ever. I then climbed back on to my human and continued to work on her face, and even some of her hair (she had some split end that needed to be trimmed). The excess water that I brought back made things much easier...then it was done, I finally heard what I had been waiting for all evening...a giggle - it started off little, but the more detail oriented I got around her eyeballs the louder she giggled! Whew, I wasn't broken after all...my human and God human were.

So, for the part of the trip that I missed, my human filled me in on later. Apparently, my God human got home and Scooter looked really sick. Her eyes were sunken in and she was really, really thin. That's when my God human knew something was wrong. Afterall, Scooter is her cat, so she would know if something was wrong. My human rushed home to take her and Scooter to the Animal ER. I could tell my human was trying to be brave, because her smile was a little too big to be real when she walked through the door. She kept telling my God human that everything would be okay, though she knew the day would end in even more tears.

Once they arrived to the ER, a doctor saw Scooter and told the humans that she didn't look good. (Uhhhh DUH!!!! That's why they brought her!) He said that her kidney's were about 1/4 of the size that he was expecting them to be, and he suspected that she was suffering from kidney failure. He said that my God human could try to get her healthy again, but chances weren't the best and he couldn't promise she would be any better. That's when my God human decided to Youth-In-Eyes her. I always thought she had youthful eyes, so that part I didn't quite get.

Scooter then left us all and crossed over to that rainbow bridge that I have been hearing a lot about. For all those that know others over the rainbow, could you please remind everyone to be nice to her, she was my roommate. And, she likes anything Salmon...

They put Scooter in a little coffin, then my human and God human took Scooter over to my God human's first home with her dad. They buried Scooter next to her other childhood pets. From what I hear Scooter had a great life. So for that I was thankful. It's always good to have decent humans around to dote over us.

Needless to say, things have been really sad over here for the past couple of days, which means that I have been working doubley hard to bring smiles to everyone. I've been doing a lot of this...

And some of this...

A little peek-a-boo...

And finally after all the water has dried up, I've been able to rest. I'm exhausted. I haven't even had any time to lick my de-marbled area (which by the way is looking good so far according to the vet! I knew my spit was magical!)

Anyway, I hope all of your weeks started out better than over here in my world. Worry not though! For I am Mr. T-Bone Beasley Ruler of all that I see...and I will make sure that no human or kitty stays sad for too long while in my presence!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Collar Clarification!!!

2008-07-06T14:29:00.000-07:00

Now, I understand there can be some confusion on what a collar is. So, let me clear this up once and for all!

These are collars...

Some, you may see are a little too small for my now 64.2 pound self. The top one is the very first collar I ever had! This is the collar I first came to my human in. Now, I don't think I could even get it to wrap around my nose. I hear we are sending some of these over to New Mexico to Apache's Tribe! Orrrr, we are donating them to others who have smaller necks than mine. Sadly, I didn't even get to wear some of them for I am Mr. T-Bone Beasley the Overnight Grower!!! Ahem...okay so moving on...

Now, this is not a collar...

That thing is called an E-Collar, or an Elizabethan Collar, or as I prefer...The Cone From Hell. My thoughts bounce around in that cone, so does my slobber, water, and food.

It is so difficult to play with toys, but I make it work!

Mostly, it's a lot easier to just sleep through having to deal with the Cone From Hell.

At first my human didn't make me wear it 'cause I was really good about not licking the stitches from the New-Turd and my scrotal ablation. Ugh...but now I feel the need to clean my wound and the human won't let me! She denies access to my once marbled area by velcro-ing that "collar" around my head!

Every now and then she takes it off when I snuggle her on the bed or couch. It's like bribery. She says it's because she can watch me to make sure I don't lick myself, but I think it's because I make her feel bad.

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all to lick yourself whenever you please! Just watch out for the Cone From Hell!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

New-Turd!

2008-07-04T13:37:00.000-07:00

Hello all of my furry friends! As you all know...I received New-Turd yesterday. Thus far, I have seen no difference in any of my turds, though it does feel a little more difficult to get my old turds out. Coincidently, I am missing two little things about the size of marbles that used to be right by my butt. My human doesn't let me investigate. Everytime I try, I get this plastic cone put around my head, which makes me cry. Luckily, my human doesn't make me wear the cone very often since I've been so good.

Anyway, let me tell you all about my day at the vet, waiting for the New-Turd.

When I woke up Thursday morning it started as the best day ever! I slobbered all over my humans face, just to let her know that I was especially loving her! She appreciates jestures like that! Then, I moved onto Buddy for some good morning bitey face...

Buddy was later put in his crate while my human leashed me up and took me for a ride in the car! It was awesome, the AC was on, the sun was out and music was playing! When we arrived to vet I saw a bunch of kitties that I couldn't wait to play with. They didn't seem particularly pleased to see me...I think they were just nervous about learning the art of bitey face.

Anyway, I was excited to see the vet and the nurses too! So, we went into an exam room and I got a thermometer in my butt, and they felt around my two little marbles...then they took me to the back room that I had never seen! I was so excited! It was time to see my New-Turd! I mean, so many thoughts were rushing through my head! Were the turds gonna be new colors? Would they have a new smell? Would the turds have the awesome ability to disappear after being expelled from my butt?

All I know is someone played with my arm for a bit, then I fell into a deep sleep and dreamnt of a New-Turd!!!

When I woke up, I first saw this...

Then I realized that someone tampered with this...

Most importantly, I realized there was no sign of any new turds! Next, I came to the realization that my human had abandoned me in such a time of distress. Later, I found out why she left and what she was doing! Look what she did for me!!!

That's right! She cleaned all three of my beds, and even added more fluffing to my owl bed! It was soooo soft!

Even Buddy tested out the clean square bed. My human even pushed back his fuzz so you all could see his eyes...

Naturally, I too had to test them out to make sure she did a good job.

And a good job she did. She actually cleaned my whole house for me! Just for me!!! Not only did she clean, but she also bought me some "Congrats on the New-Turd presents!"

She also got me a new Wubba because I accidently chewed a little too far into my old Wubba!

So, here I am again breaking in a new Wubba!

When I got home I slept a lot, but I also had to show my human that I was okay by chewing lots and looking happy!

I'm feeling okay and I get some good medicine! Thanks to all of you out there who have expressed some concern about my New-Turd. I'm still looking for it, and I'll let you know when I find it! Lets cross our paws that it's glorious!

This is the stitched up Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all to never let a human poke you in the leg with something. You'll leave with a piece of you missing!

Also...HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

House Guest...

2008-07-01T22:42:00.000-07:00

Here he is...Buddy. He is staying with us for the week, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it.

First of all, he's much smaller than me, which makes playing bitey face a little more difficult. That doesn't mean that I can't do it...I just have to bend over a little bit more. Also, I don't really think he likes to play, but I make him do it anyway. I just gotta snap my jaws a little bit and he growls and then we LET THE BITEY FACE COMMENCE!

Secondly, he's taking over my house. He tries to snuggle with my human, and I won't let that happen. He forgets that she is MY human! So, I have to get up from whatever I'm doing to nose or butt him off the bed or couch. And even though I'm hot, I lay across my human's stomache to ensure that he doesn't come back.

I thought about peeing on her to mark my territory, but I foresee a nose whapping if that happens. Faya knows how I feel about noses...I would never jeapordize all that is a nose just to mark my human in pee. I often opt to slobbering her face in Bease slime. She can never get mad if she thinks she is getting lots of kisses...

Not only is he trying to steal my human, but he's eating my food...

He stays uncomfortably close while I chew on my Bully Sticks. He tries to steal my chewies too, so I gotta eat them as fast as possible...

My human even gave up one of my chewies just so he would leave me alone while I had a good and peaceful chew...

Thirdly, he sasses me, a lot...

So, I gotta sass him back and let him know who's boss...

I can't even nap in peace anymore. Wherever I nap...he naps. Wherever I sleep, he sleeps...

Once, I was laying on my bed, and he made a smelly so, I had to turn around and tell him that I only like the smells that come from my butt. Foreign smells are not happily accepted in my home.

Having another four legged human in my home is very stressfuul. Maybe I ought to fly away with the honkin'/fartin' duck...

Oh well...I suppose now I have a buddy to play bitey face with whenever I want.

On the brighter side of things, my human says that Thursday is when I get NEW-TURD!! I can't wait to see what that means for my turds! I hope the NEW-TURD is awesome!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all that today July 1st is my good friend Deet'z first bark day!!!! Make sure you all stop by and wish him the best year ever with lots of snackies!!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Fuzzy Wuzzy...

2008-06-27T00:20:00.000-07:00

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. If Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, Wuzzy Fuzzy? And here I am!!! The Fuzzy Wuzzy Bear! Whooo! Believe me, I am fuzzy! Errr, I was fuzzy...

Yesterday my human woke me up at the butt crack of dawn and took me to...dum dum dummmmm...the Groomer! As she got me ready I rolled on the bed and covered my ears. If I couldn't hear her, then I didn't need to go get an Airecut.

Apparrently, according to the human...that doesn't work. So, here I am now! My second Airecut ever!!!

There is no more dirt underneath my toenails, I don't have hidden filth in the mid layer of my fuzz, I look like a giant pipe cleaner and there is this weird scent of flowers following me around!

I felt so different after the Airecut that I became worried that I could no longer do any of the things I used to when I was a Fuzzy Wuzzy.

So, I chewed on a Bully Stick, and brought an intense aroma into the house. CHECK! I can still chew a bully stick just as well...

I whipped a towel around in the backyard and beat it to death. CHECK! I was able to do that, and even felt a little more free as I threw the towel from side to side.

I napped on one of my beds to see if I could still be comfortable with the scent of flowers overpowering my nostrils. CHECK! I even got to curl up in a ball without panting!

Then, I got a good drink of water to see if my wet beard could still shock the human when I nose poke her and drip a decent amount of water everywhere. CHECK! I wasn't too worried about that one, I've always been good at dripping water all over the floor.

Finally, the one I was most worried about...my ability to eat Frosty Paws. CHECK!!!! I can still totally do everything that I used to do when I was a Fuzzy Wuzzy! Woohoo!

I've been working really hard to get this flowery smell off of me...so if I see my human come at me with any spray or shampoo, she's getting the evil eyes...

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Toy Update!

2008-06-24T20:06:00.000-07:00

Salutations oh furry friends! In the past couple of months I have received some of the best presents I could ever ask for! These presents come in boxes, which I will be honest, are my favorite part of present-ing! Anyway, those who have sent me boxes, toys and treats do a much better job picking out goodies than my human does! Woohoo for friends!

So, the purpose of today is to give everyone an update on all the goodies I have received! And here they are! You will notice that one toy in particular is missing...yes, that is correct, we suffered a casualty with my cow from Faya. It was a sad and horrific day when I realized that the cow was missing a leg, and it was bleeding white fluff! I couldn't stand the pain it brought to my heart! The stuffing, the whiteness, the fluffiness...THE HORROR! I decided to be a good guy and brought the de-legged cow to my human, and as tears welled up in my eyeballs my human knew it was time...time for the cow to pass on over to Stuffy Heaven where it can roll around in stuffing and plump, glorious clouds...for me, it was a sad day. Perhaps for the cow it was the best day since Faya's Veronique purchased him. I prefer not reflect on my cows last days in my life, instead I would like for us all to remember my white cow for the greatness that he was. He will forever be in my heart.

Thank you again, Faya for bringing the white cow to my home, and happy jaws...there were great times, great times...

Faya seems to really enjoy those farm animals because she also sent me a pig! I am happy to report that the pig still lives! I make him oink every day just to make sure that he's still with us! I think he's happy here in Arizona. I roll him around in dirt almost every day. First, I slobber him REALLY good, then I put him in the dirt, thus making him a muddy pig. For this, I think he is grateful! And here is my pig now!

He looks happy, doesn't he! I am so pleased that I am able to take care of him so well, I really have been trying really hard to make his life the best life ever! Satan seemed a little envious that I had my very own pig, and she tried to spend a little time with him.

I squashed that idea quickly. It's bad enough that she eats my pupperoni's, she can't have my pig too. It's not like I get anything from playing in her catnip...though, I do enjoy her food every now and then, so I should share, but I'm just not ready right now! Perhaps tomorrow...maybe...

Okay, okay...who's up next? Ahhhh yes, the honkin'/fartin' duck that Deetz got me. At one point I thought I killed him too, but it turns out that he still lives too! Woohoo! His quacker doesn't always work anymore, I think he's going through some laryngitis...is there such thing as a stuffie doctor?

This duck is awesome! I often like to take naps on him, he's a great pillow. Plus, when I wake up he is there ready for a shakin' and a biting! Lately I enjoy throwing him against the wall, then in the air...then I slobber up his wings so he can't fly away. I would be so sad if he left me!

And to you Deetz, and Deetz's mum thanks for being the first furry friend to send me a package! The honkin'/fartin' duck has been a great addition to my toy box!

Sometimes, what I like to do is lay on one toy while I chew on the other. As you see here I was holding my mailman hostage while giving the honkin'/fartin' duck a good chew!

On to the package de los Griffindales!!!! I would have to say that my favorite toy from that box was the blue rubbery one with the rope! It's perfectly sized for my nose!

Ahhhh and the rubbery part has little spikes. I can't help but get sleepy when I gnaw on that thing! I do have a confession though...

Forgive me God of Toys, for I have sinned...while playing with the soccer ball with ropes, well ~gulp~ I kinda accidentally broke it! I KNOW! I KNOW!! Killing my toys does not show great appreciation! But, I couldn't help it! It just felt so good to pull, and pull...then pull some more! By the fourth pull the rope was in my mouth, without the soccer ball.

I begged my human to keep it! I just couldn't bare to send another stuffie to stuffie heaven! It's just too much, I can't handle the thought!

So, for now I get to keep both parts of the toy...the rope and the soccer ball with one attached rope. Whew, I almost lost another one! Really, what I did could be considered genius. I made one toy, two! Woohoo! They also sent me a red holee roller that I thoroughly enjoy, especially if there is a treat in it. In fact, when the holee roller is empty I pull it out of my toy box, drop it by the smelly foot of my human and stare...she then realizes that the toy is missing it's guts and puts a treat right in the middle! Yahar! I have my human trained real good!

To The Griffindales, thank you for your awesome generosity! You and your mom deserve a big WOOHOO!

Ahhhh, and onto Chef's package for the International Goodie Exchange! Look how well I broke in the mail man! He's nice and dirty, just as a mail man should be!

He has such a great whappability factor! I throw him to one side of my body, then to the other! I think it makes him dizzy! I enjoy throwing him in the air and watching him spin. He has yet to barf. If he barfs, I'm thinking he would throw up stuffing. And I don't think I could manage seeing that. Just the thought is making me nauseous...

My human had to go in the backyard to find my squeaking yellow ball and my red giggle ball. I've working on learning how to bury the balls. Right now I just dig a hole and leave the ball next to it. I like to ferment my toys in the earth, but I'm afraid I'll never find them again! However, since my human brought them back in, I found it appropriate to play with them and allow their glorious sounds to echo throughout my household! It was beautiful, really...

The blue squeaky Frisbee and green bone allow my human to work out her eye ball muscles since they twitch whenever the ball squeaks. My favorite time to bring these toys out is when my human least expects it! I like to make sure she knows where I am at all times, then SURPRISE! The eye twitching begins! Ahhhh Chef, thank you for your thoughfulness in present giving...you have brought me many hours of joy and you are preventing my human's eye balls from becoming fat! I try to work them out at least every other day...

Now, one of my first toys ever was the cow rope Frisbee from my human's human...that would be her mom! She loves me. She never yells at me or smacks my nose like my human does. She could tell what I liked before I ever even arrived to Arizona! The rope is the best part of the toy. I have yet to destroy it, but believe you me, I have tried. Oh, I have tried! Hehehe! And guess what! The cow Frisbee still lives, and usually travels with me to work!

So there it is...my toys and all the joy that they have brought to me and my terrier jaws! Wooo!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out with a huge THANK YOU and slurp to Chef, The Griffindales, Deetz, Faya, my human's human and all of my furry friend's humans for sending such awesomeness my way!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

A Little Sister?

2008-06-22T00:57:00.000-07:00

Hello all you four legged humans! I must prepare you all before you look at the picture below. I am ~gasp~ going to post a picture of a human! Not just any human...but a little human! First, let me tell you who this human is, and how my secret keeper of a human kept the little human from me!

So, I just found out that my human does this thing with Big brother and Big sisters where she gets to have something called a "little"... basically, this means that time is going to be taken away from me so she can entertain a little human! Can you believe that! The horror! The neglect! The evil!!! Well, it turns out that my human isn't all that evil being that she brought the little human with us to the dog park...So with out further adieu, I present to you...THE LITTLE HUMAN!!!!

Yes, yes she's adorable, and yes, yes she is the sweetest! But I am too, okay? I would like to think that we are pretty even...right? We are both adorable and sweet, right? I just want to be sure that my human doesn't forget about me....and ~gulp~ pay more attention to a little human over me...her four legged human!

Okay, so not only did I get to meet the little human, but I got to meet her dog Buddy too! I never realized how big I was until I saw my head in comparison to his head! Yowza!!!

We had a good time at the park! But when I got home I was so tired! I totally had to nap on my humans bed...it feels so good to be under the fan when the AC is on. I even get to snuggle in the blankets! Why is it that the humans get to live the life of luxury, and I...MISTER T-Bone Beasley have beds...on the floor, "BAH" I say!

Anyway, that's about it. I just want everyone to know that I was really nice to my new little human. I gave her lots of kisses, but to be completely honest I was a little more interested in Buddy. I tried to hump him so he knew who was boss. I really did try to dominate, but he never let me - I got growled at and bit instead. My human just sighed and said, "Only two weeks until you get NEW-TURD." I don't get it...why would I want a new turd? I've got plenty of my own, I don't need any new ones, mine work just fine...humans, they make little to no sense most of the time!

I just thought I would show everyone my thoughtfulness toward my new piggy from Faya. If you look closely you will see that I tried to re-unite the piggy with it's hoof. Sadly, it didn't fit, but I did try! In any event I played with the pig and gnawed on the hoof! Dang it was a good day!

I hope you all are having a great weekend thus far! This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding everyone that sometimes a little kiss and coy eye contact will get you out of any trouble you've found yourself in! Woohoo!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley